I'm Messed Up Again! Shhhhhhh! Don't Tell Renee!

I am messed up again.

I am not sure what to do about it.

See, one morning I am alone painting.  I love this.  And I can't wait to light the fuse.

The next day, I don't want to paint at all.  I start fussing around with my large-scale sculpture idea. I'm worried about it.  It looks like hell.  The plan sucks. And for sure I won't have enough gunpowder.

Maybe if I keep this secret it's okay if I fail.  Maybe it's an illusion.  There is no pressure then.  No worries at all. At least none until the giant concrete cubes get dropped off. 

"Shhhhhhhhhhh", don't tell Renee.

That evening, I get obsessed with some new black and white photo images I've done.  I need to do more.

I don't think about it much.   Or, I think about it too much.  My mind is a mess.

I read some poetic quenettes to calm down.

Trump makes me nervous though.

I am happiest when I'm pursuing a new challenge.  A new skill.  I keep trying to push beyond the things I have done before.

And then I come back.  The Puppies I painted made me happy.  People want more.

I not sure what people expect from me.  Be nice?  Is that good enough?

Maybe I need to take a break in order to refocus. 

I have heard people do that.

I've never really done that.

Does it work?

Why don't I stop? I see too much inspiration and there is so much to do.

The Parkland students.  They are not taking a break.  Neither is the NRA.  And this is a war we need to win.

We can do the impossible.

Renee and I are going to Chicago for a few days to see our granddaughter.

Her smile makes me optimistic.  So does Renee's. 

I believe a few days with the best girls ever will clear my head up!

Artist Stick Vega studied mathematics and economics, earning a B.S. in economics from UW-Madison and an MBA from Edgewood College. He owned and was CEO of online apparel retailers WinterSilks and Venus Sportswear.  However, upon selling the companies more than a decade ago he headed straight to his studio - The Blast Factory in Madison, WI - to create explosive, modern art with gunpowder and high-speed fuse.  Stick's current work includes paintings, drawings, fusographs (exploded photographs) and writing. Please follow Stick on Facebook and/or Twitter.